Howard at Home in the Railway

 The day began with Howard proving that 70 is the new 30—provided 30-year-olds can still hit a fairway. In "brilliant sunshine" (clearly a birthday gift from above), he proceeded to fleece his golfing buddies for a win. The 19th hole served as the starting blocks for what was about to become a marathon of liver endurance 

Mrs Tonge evidently misunderstood what I said when she asked me “What did I want for my birthday”, but this was in addition to a fabulous selection of booze, some great tech and a one-of personalised polo shirt from Pip.

 The invasion of Lahore Spicessaw 23 hungry souls descend for a feast. Howard hosted with the grace of a man who knows he has a £70 bar tab waiting for him elsewhere. Copious amounts of wine were used to "wash down" the meal, though by this point, the wine was likely the main course. 

 Back at The Railway, things got emotional. Captain Steve delivered a "touching presentation," which is Golf-Society-speak for "we’re amazed you’re still standing." Between the Japanese whisky, the engraved crystal, and a voucher for The Ivy, Howard was showered with enough generosity to make a man blush (though that might have just been the Lahore Spices' chili heat). 

 The survivors retreated to Tonge Towers. Under the watchful eye of the new garden clock, the patio became the final frontier. In a feat of biology that defies modern science, Howard reported feeling "fine" the next morning. .

 A 10/10 performance. If turning 70 looks like this, the rest of us can stop worrying. Happy Birthday, Howard!